Some Rejected Hall Mark Cards

“Looking back over the years that we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder:… — What was I thinking?”

“Congratulations on your wedding day!… — Too bad no one likes your wife.”

“How could two people as beautiful as you…. — have such an ugly baby?”

“I’ve always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love… — After having meeting you, I’ve changed my mind.”

“As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am… — that you’re not here to ruin it for me.”

“Thanks for being a part of my life!!!… — I never knew what evil was before this!”

“Before you go,… I would like you to take this knife out of my back. — You’ll probably need it again.”

“Someday I hope to get married… — but not to you.”

“You look great for your age… — Almost Lifelike!”

“When we were together, you always said you’d die for me… — Now that we’ve broken up, I think it’s time you kept your promise.”

“I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend… — So here’s his leash, water bowl and chew toys.”

“We have been friends for a very long time… — What do you say we call it quits?“

“I’m so miserable without you… — It’s almost like you’re here.”

“Congratulations on your new bundle of joy… — Did you ever find out who the father was?

“You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket… — I’d miss you heaps and think of you often