Jack Blanchard Home Sweet Home 3000 Miles Later
HOME FROM OUR 3,000 MILE ROAD TOUR.NOTES FROM THE ROAD THAT NEVER GOT SENT. “The Autumn leaves are beautiful. We’ve been in Buffalo for three days now, both down with bad colds. Been in bed most of the time. I hope we shape up for the big BMHOF Gala Thursday night. Misty looks pretty good this morning. I look like Death eating a cracker.” “We’re in Nashville, taking a day of rest and restoration before we start making the rounds of our friends,relatives, and business associates.Feeling good but tired. Misty is going to hose me down to remove the road dust.”
“To all the folks we missed seeing in Buffalo and Nashville, we apologize. It was a hectic schedule and time ran out. Also, I caught a cold and was confined to a motel room for several days, attempting to cough up Linda Blair.” “I’ve gained weight on this trip,
eating motel breakfasts and stuff out of rest area machines. When we get home I’ll have to do a sit-up.” We’re back home now and recuperating.
My kids want me to be cremated. I’m trying to get them to wait.
Since the dental surgery I’ve been sleeping sitting up in a Lazy-Boy chair, in the dark. I’m worried that I might scare an innocent burglar to death.
If somebody steals my identity, who am I gonna be?
It’s a clue that your career is not going well when you get a stalker and you worry on days that he doesn’t call.
We used to have a hair gel they called “wave set”. A rock could drop on your head and not hurt you.
The guy across the street is a talker. Never shuts up. You can’t get a word in edgewise. He works in a slaughterhouse talking the heads off chickens.
I saw this on the men’s room wall at a biker bar in Key West…
Somebody wrote “I LIKE GRILS.” and then corrected it by drawing a line through “GRILS” and changing it to”GIRLS”.
Somebody after that wrote: “WHAT ABOUT US GRILS?”
The cowboy said: “That’s the ugliest, filthiest, stupidest looking beast I’ve ever seen.” The buffalo said: “I think I just heard a discouraging word.”
Jack Blanchard
© 2012.
